Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Unrestrained Self-portrait

After pondering about a subject, my teacher asked what I was interested in, and I haven't done a figure painting in a while, so I decided to grab a mirror from the second floor bathroom and get to it. I started with a very basic charcoal sketch of myself. 






The next session I worked on it, I used completely unrealistic tones for the flesh to let go of attempting to keep my work realistic. I put colors I enjoyed on my palette and thought about how those colors could interact with each other to create a sense of light on a form. 

During this session, my teacher spoke about mediums for oil paint. I had been using a 'traditional' mixture that included damar varnish, linseed oil and turpenoid. It turns out, over time, that mixture will actually yellow a painting and it may even crack. He spoke about clear gel mediums for oil paints that help even the slowest drying colors dry faster. I kept working with just a brush, my medium and paint. 






During the third session I worked on my self-portrait, I was graced with the chance to experiment with this miraculous medium for oils called alkyd gel medium. It is used for impasto and holds brush marks. I brought in the use of my palette knife and I feel that it helped immensely with the form of the face, it didn't appear to be as flat as when I was using a brush and thinner medium. 
I was advised to complete all of the sections of the face because the form flows into the facial features and if I were to wait too long they would look flat and disconnected. Keeping the same lighting idea, I made the whole head one. IF I were to add the hair too early, it would also end up looking disconnected and placed on.




I am very happy with where this piece is going so far, and it feels like it has been awhile since I could say that. 


Freedom. What a terrifyingly wonderful thing.

For the first time in... I'd say three years, I have complete freedom to do whatever my heart desires when it comes to my artwork. There is not one rule, no restrictions on mediums, no setup to work from, no teacher that comes over to draw over what you feel you have worked on so hard. I'm left there with my thoughts, a few helpful comments, and time; Time to do anything, make ANYTHING I want. There is so much freedom! Finally! A set block of time designated to MY work. 

And I sit there lost, grasping at tiny ideas and rarely catching one that seems to be completely worth the time. It's a lot of freedom to just be dropped on me. Kind of intimidating, especially when I am surrounded by amazing peers. 


It's a block of time to figure out myself and where I stand in my education. Time to push myself to take ahold of those tiny ideas and run with it. So that is my 'path' and there is no real destination, and I don't think I want one. I want to learn to feel comfortable expressing anything and everything I can in my work. My plan is to destroy something and feel great about it. After many tears last semester, I'm ready to stop viewing something as 'precious' and let it go wild.